IOWA CITY, Iowa – Each week, All Hawkeyes publishers Pat Harty and Rob Howe will pick five college football games and add witty comments. In the future, we may invite celebrity guests join us. If you know any, have them look us up.

Here are this week’s games:

ROB HOWE

Iowa 34, Illinois State 21: Hawkeye fans rejoice! You beat ISU!

Iowa State 31, UNI 30: Paul Rhoads is proud of winning his proud…of winning his sixth game in three seasons.

Alabama 20, Wisconsin 10: Upset with outcome, Barry Alvarez names himself coach…again.

Notre Dame 27, Texas 17: Unable to scream at a quarterback for poor play, Brian Kelly yells at Bevo for eating too much of the artificial turf at Notre Dame Stadium.

Northwestern 24, Stanford 20: Everybody studies microbiology at halftime.

Pat Harty

Iowa 31, Illinois State 27: So excited after watching C.J. Beathard throw down field on the first two plays of the game, a group of Iowa fans tear down the north goal post even though both passes were incomplete.

Iowa State 34, Northern Iowa 30: Overwhelmed with emotion and unable to speak, Paul Rhoads has the song “Proud Mary” by Creedence Clearwater Revival cranked throughout the Cyclone locker room after the game.

Stanford 24, Northwestern 23: Pat Fitzgerald reminds his players afterwards that they’re smart and will soon have high-paying jobs in which they can control and manipulate those less fortunate.

Alabama 28, Wisconsin 17: With the Badgers trailing 21-7 at halftime, Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez considers naming himself interim head coach for the second half.

Notre Dame 23, Texas 20: Fighting Irish fans are ordered to not storm the field because Texas is at best the fourth best college team in Texas.