The challenge with being separated from family during milestone moments
By Pat Harty
IOWA CITY, Iowa – Fran McCaffery is in an awkward situation this week.
He enjoys watching his two oldest sons play high school basketball, but would prefer to miss all of their games this week, even with a state title on the line.
It hardly is an ideal situation for a family that does so much together in sports, but it sure beats the alternative of losing.
That would be the only way Fran could watch his sons, Connor and Patrick, play in the state tournament for West High, and the same with Connor and Patrick with regard to watching Fran and the Hawkeyes compete in the Big Ten Tournament.
Unfortunately, for the McCafferys, two of the biggest events during the basketball season fall on the same week.
While Fran leads Iowa in the Big Ten Tournament halfway across the country in Washington D.C., Connor and Patrick will try to help West High win a Class 4A state title in Des Moines.
The busy week will start with top-ranked West facing Newton at 1 p.m. Wednesday at Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines.
And then barely 24 hours later, the Iowa men’s basketball team will face Indiana at 5:30 p.m. on Thursday in the quarterfinals of the Big Ten Tournament.
“Hopefully, I won’t see any of their games and they’ll keep playing, and they won’t see any of mine,” Fran McCaffery said Tuesday.
Winning comes at a price. And for the McCaffery family, that price is being separated from each other for some key events.
Fran McCaffery will go out of his way sometimes to watch Connor and Patrick play, including driving to Dubuque immediately after an Iowa practice. But there also are times like this week when Fran’s busy schedule won’t allow it.
Iowa plays games on every day of the week except Monday and Friday during the regular season. West High usually plays games on Tuesday and Friday with an occasional Saturday game mixed in.
“It’s tough,” Fran McCaffery said. “They would be with me and I would want to be there. But I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do and they’ve got to take care of their business.
“I think they’re used to that, too, because I miss some games. If I’m in town, I don’t miss. But a lot times I’m away. We’ve just learned to deal with that.”
Iowa and West High both enter tournament play this week on a roll. The Hawkeyes have won four games in a row, while West is considered the favorite to win the Class 4A state title, largely because of the McCaffery brothers.
Connor McCaffery is a 6-foot-5 all-state senior guard who will play for his father at Iowa, while Patrick McCaffery is a 6-8 sophomore forward, who also plans to play for his father in college.
So with Patrick, there still is two more years of being separated during key moments, but the McCaffery family understands that it goes with the territory.
Connor also appreciates the effort that his father makes in order to attend his high school games.
“I know that if he has any chance of being at our games, he’ll be there,” Connor said of his father earlier in the season. “It’s nice looking up in the stands and seeing him there.”
Fran McCaffery's high-profile job has plenty of perks and advantages from which his family benefits.
But it also carries with it a massive responsibility in which sacrifices have to be made.
Fran’s wife, Margaret, is a fixture at the West High games, sometimes with Fran at her side, but sometimes without him. She helps to keep the family connected when they’re apart.
There is a chance that Connor and Patrick could help West win a state title Saturday night and still get to see the Hawkeyes play in one game.
But for that to happen, the surging Hawkeyes would have to advance to the championship game on Sunday and Connor, Patrick and Margaret would have to travel to Washington D.C. in a hurry.
So that's just more incentive for both teams to keep winning.