By Pat Harty

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. – Another Big Ten football media day has come and gone, and the biggest news from the two-day event is that Oklahoma and Texas are considering leaving the Big 12 Conference to join the Southeastern Conference.

Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz also said that approximately 70 percent of his players have been vaccinated for the coronavirus, while Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald said 95 percent of his players have been vaccinated.

Other than that, it was typical media day stuff where everybody is excited and optimistic, and where the players who attended the event are better people than players.

It’s no secret that Kirk Ferentz is not a fan of Big Ten media day, but this year’s event was a slight improvement from previous years because Iowa’s travel party flew in Friday morning and was expected to arrive back in Iowa City by around dinner time.

“Sure happy about that,” Ferentz said.

Just once I’d like to cover a Big Ten football media day where a head coach steps to the podium and says he doesn’t love his team, that he dreads the start of the season, and that the players who accompanied him to the annual event aren’t better people than players.

I’d like to hear a head coach tell a reporter that’s a stupid question, and I’m already sick of your nonsense.

I’d like to hear a head coach say that he’s more excited about leaving media day than attending it.

I’d like to hear a head coach say that he isn’t excited to be here, and that he isn’t excited about his team’s potential, or its chances for success.

I’d like to hear a head criticize his opponents and say that Jim Harbaugh is overpaid, that Paul Chryst is mind-numbingly boring, that Scott Frost is the king of making excuses, and that Barry Alvarez should start wearing socks.

I’d like to hear a head coach complain about the venue, and say that media day is mostly just an unnecessary and overrated feel-good event for a bunch of knuckleheads.

I’d like to hear a head coach say who gives a crap about Texas and Oklahoma, or about conference expansion.

I’d like to hear a head coach say that he doesn’t trust his players because many of them are pampered, spoiled brats who cut corners on and off the field.

I’d like to hear a player rip an opposing fan base, like for example, an Iowa player accuse Nebraska fans of being stuck in the 1990s. Wouldn’t that be fun?

I’d like to hear a player ask a member of the media why they chose a profession that pays so poorly, why they dress so poorly, and why they ask so many stupid questions.

I’d like to hear a member of the media ask a head coach how it feels to be grossly overpaid for underperforming.

I’d like to hear a head coach brag about how much money he makes and have him remind reporters that he makes more during a hiccup than they make for an entire year.

I’d like to not hear a member of the media ask a player how he would do in a competitive eating contest. So I was glad I wasn’t around when somebody asked Iowa center Tyler Linderbaum that question on Friday.

I’d like to hear a player brag about all of his preseason accolades instead of being humble and more concerned about his team’s success.

Just once I’d like for this annual event to be filled with shock and awe instead of with clichés, coach speak and political correctness.